First of all, I want you to know that marriage is good and the most honorable! If God wants you to marry, don't give excuses or hide behind other facets, like this article; you MUST marry at the right time! There are many wonderful things for you in marriage - not just any marriage but the one designed & confirmed by God for you!
But that doesn't also mean you are done with if you are single! Let's see....
SATISFY - to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); give full contentment to
SATISFIED - content
It is interesting how many think their life has no meaning or that they are unfulfilled without a partner. Women especially have this negative stigma. Mainly, this is because we have some wrong definitions of what marriage must be. Many of us desperately run into marriage because we are not satisfied as singles. We enter into the marriage with this wrong perception of what we are in for and what we must be doing in it. Yet, even to have a great marriage, one of the important factors is to be complete and satisfied as a single person before we enter in.
Many singles are faced with the challenge of societal stigma of dishonor, loneliness, incompleteness, unhappiness and non-productivity which they believe can be dealt with only with the presence of a partner. But the truth is, you don’t need a man (as in either a man or woman) to be complete, dignified and honored, fulfilled, happy, fruitful or satisfied.
So, the question is, how do you become satisfied as a single person?
In the account of the birth of Jesus in Luke, Mary conceived and gave birth to a son without the natural intercourse of a man. The Holy Spirit overshadowed her and made which needed man’s ability baseless! It can be deduced Mary’s main purpose on earth was to give birth to the Messiah. Seeing such purpose coming to pass, she could be said to have been fulfilled. Yet, she didn’t need a man to be fulfilled. But for such supernatural tendency to come true, Mary had to surrender to the will of God. She had to yield to the purpose of God for her life.
“And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” – Luke 1:38
If single people would submit to God and His will and embrace His purpose for their lives and live in it, then His Spirit shall overshadow them to do all they want to do to have a fulfilled life. Because you are carrying a divine mandate in your womb like Mary, God’s protection will be with you; no 'Herod' can succeed in killing that divine mandate which contains your prosperity, happiness, glory, dignity and fulfillment. You’ll surely birth out at the appointed time and everyone will see and call you blessed.
Many singles are concerned of the status quo and are disturbed with the societal stigma of singleness. They embrace the societal fib that if you are not married, especially as a woman (and yes many men have this stigma too), you don’t have dignity, you don’t belong. Yet, it is not man (a husband or wife) but God who gives honor and dignity.
Mary was honored and dignified amongst other women because she carried a divine mandate. She was highly favored (Luke 1:28). Although she was betrothed to Joseph, she didn’t need to be married before she had such honor and favor. In fact, her situation demanded disgrace and disrepute in the natural sense, for she had taken seed before marriage. Yet, with such humanly disgraceful circumstance, she was honored, favored and dignified and called blessed just because she was on the Lord’s side and He was with her!
True dignity, honor and respect come from God and not man (Ps 104:1). It comes from obedience to God’s Word; fear of and love for God (Ps 15:4; 91:14-15; Prov 22:4). As Psalm 91:14-15 says, much as you set your love upon God by doing His will, He shall honor you.
Again, many single women especially think they need a man to take care of them financially and materially (and yes you wouldn't believe some men have this intent too). No. You are a rich person yourself who can take care of yourself. In your God-given mandate are talents to fulfill such mandate. God has endowed you with such special talents in which are millions and billions of whichever currency you could think of; in which is an extraordinary fiscal value only if you’ll use it!
Yes there are some people God has said their financial and other prosperity will manifest after marriage, but if God is truly the One who has said it, He knows how to take good care of you that you don’t necessarily need a man to supply you with. But some of us, we claim this widely accepted fib to ourselves; that God made the man to support and provide for the wife therefore we will be much better off financially/materially after we marry. If only you’ll embrace the purpose of God for your life, obey Him and keep His Word, love Him and be more intimate with Him, He shall prosper you! (Deut 29:9; Josh 1:7-8; Job 36:11)
Some singles feel incomplete without a partner. Let me tell you that you are a complete person yourself! Actually you must be complete before you marry. Being single is the best moment to be transformed in every area of your life in order to be the best husband or wife! God molded Eve and put her together before He brought her to Adam as his wife. She was made complete as a wife before she married. God endowed her with all she needs to be a help meet to Adam. She was with God and walked with God and God molded her. God cannot mold you for you to lack anything good. It is said God brought Eve to Adam meaning she was walking with God till she got to Adam and married. Walk with God for Him to mold you and complete you as a single person even before you marry. You don’t need a man first to be complete. You need God to complete you.
Perhaps some of us are unsatisfied as singles because we think we need someone to make us happy, to comfort us, and fill our loneliness. You need God and not man (wife or husband) to satisfy you in these areas. We’ve embraced the worldly fib of only being happy by the nearness of a man and have neglected the intimacy with God that is why we are frustrated, unhappy and feel lonely.
Do you know you can be married and yet be lonely and therefore unhappy? You can also be single and be happy and not feel lonely. True joy comes from God.
You do not marry to get rid of your loneliness but your aloneness. There is a difference between the two. God didn’t say it isn’t good for a man to be ‘lonely’ He said it isn’t good for a man to be ‘alone’. He didn’t create marriage to satisfy your loneliness but aloneness. Loneliness is only you inwardly; aloneness means only you outwardly. Loneliness is normally what produces sadness and stress. Adam was alone without Eve but not lonely for he had God with and in him! We can deduce he was happy and satisfied for he wasn’t the one who requested for a wife. You need God to satisfy your loneliness and not man! Be intimate with Him and experience true companionship!
What is making you unsatisfied in your single life? Is it that your biological clock is ticking and so you need a man? You are only under the oppression and pressure of societal stigma of dishonor. But if only you will throw away the worldly ideologies and yield yourself to God in serving Him and living righteously for Him, He’ll give you such dignity and honor in the eyes of others that even some married people might not have. Or are you scared you’ll enter into menopause and not be able to give birth? Remember Sarah! So long as you live for God, He’ll do with you like Sarah. Or are you feeling lonely and unhappy? Spend more time with God, be intimate with Him and that loneliness will vanish...!
Be happy in your single life! Rather than being passive and sorrowing in your singleness, see this moment as a blessing! Stop flirting around with other men or women that depreciates your honor. 'Flirt' rather with God! Chase God and appreciate your value & dignity! Get up and do what you are supposed to do! Use this moment to be more intimate with God! Remember what Paul said in ICorinthians 7:32-35..relatively, the best moment to serve the Lord without distraction is when you are single (note that it doesn't mean you can't serve the Lord properly when married). Check the areas of your life where you need to work on that will affect your marriage (your emotions, physical appearance, speech, words) & allow yourself to be transformed, equipped & enriched in every area by the help of God; know how to take care of yourself physically, secure yourself some honorable profession. Discover your God-given purpose and get busy with the use of your talents and gifts in accordance with that purpose. Be independent of a man but dependent on God! Let your single life be useful, then you will be satisfied you are (or were, after you marry)!
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