The Process Of Finding Your Partner For Life - Reindorf Mantey

"And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him." - Genesis 2:20b

The bible expresses the futility of Adam's quest to find a mate after he had named all the animals. He had hoped that his zeal to fulfill the divine commission will accrue a dividend of his expectation. His desire for a mate fueled his zeal to name the animals hoping by so doing, he will find a mate. However, he was disappointed. He might have been confounded because it was God who brought the animals to him after he had made him aware of the need for a mate. God awakened in him a passion for a mate, set him up with the opportunity by presenting all the animals for him to name them and yet his quest ended in futility. Why will God make him aware of a need, generate a passion and yet lead him to a futile search? The bible blurts out the futility of his search:

"...but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him." - Gen 2:20b

Many single Christians find themselves in such dilemma. Their hope is dashed, emotionally drained by the quest of finding a decent mate; they succumb to their disappointments and quit their search. Many have concluded that the mate of their dreams cannot be found in their world. All the right people are all taken so they don’t even bother to try so they don’t get hurt. They deceive themselves that they can bottle up their feelings in a false sense of spirituality until circumstances break out their façade and spill out that emotional feelings they are dying to serve a mate of their dreams with. Until many singles understand divine intimacy cannot replace the warmth of human intimacy which is consented by God, they will come up with excuses to quit the quest for the love of their life.

Adam could not give up after all the disappointments in naming all the animals. Do you know how many animals that Adam named and yet could not find a mate? He could have just picked one of the animals to be his mate because of the scarcity of his kind. However he could not do it inspite of all the disappointments. To be true to who he was, Adam could not just pick any of the animals. They might be cute, some were closer to his morals, some had resemblance to his features but they were still animals. He could not bring himself to choose one and hope God will do a creative constructive plastic surgery and turn them to human in the future. Adam will not degrade his ethics and shame God by picking an animal just because of the scarcity of his kind.

The Importance of the Process

Why will God lead him into a quest that will lead him to such disappointments? God knew that his pursuit will end up in emotional bankruptcy, yet He urged him to go on anyway. Though his search was futile, some good was done. The animals got named which was consented by God.

Though God knew that he would not get what he desires, He needed the animals to be named anyway. Such was important, that God allowed him to go through the process. It might not have been what Adam wanted, but it was fulfilling a divine good. God did not hurriedly create him a woman, because the process was necessary for him to pick the right mate and to be a good husband. He was created perfect but had not developed character. Character is not just created but lived. You can be created with high morals but you must be given the opportunity to live it out. The process of finding a help mate equipped him to be the person God wanted. He learned to use the judgment of God, as he named the animals the way God wanted. He learned that opportunity does not mean divine sanction. The mere fact that God has presented the animals does not mean that he has to pick all of them to be wives. He learned how not to pick anyone contrary to his image and likeness. He was created in the image and likeness of God and could not stay true to himself if he picks an animal. He learned that scarcity does not have to force you to compromise your ethics. He learned that there is always a divine option when man has exhausted his means. The process was a teacher to equip him for the marriage.

“Let patience has its perfect work so that you will be entire, wanting nothing.” - James 1:14

As you go through the process, God is working on you, so you need to be patient. As God places you in a quest to search for your mate, do some good by naming things the way God will call them. Fulfill your divine commission as you search for your mate. Stay true to your calling and dreams that God has given to you.

“All things work together for good to them that love God.” - Romans 8:28

Adam did not know the significance of what he had gained by naming the animals until Eve was presented to him. What he had gained by naming the animals was utilized to name the wife. “...This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh...” - Genesis 2:23

God had not told him that was the process that he will use to identify his wife. However as he obeyed God in naming the animals, he acquired the judgment to identify his wife. The process helped him to name the wife well. God could not trust him to name Eve, if he had not gone through naming the animals first. The process was necessary. After he had passed the test of naming the animals with divine consent, he passed the test to meet his wife; and he named her prophetically to divine admiration. If he had quit the process, he would not have been equipped to name Eve....

Get busy pursuing your calling and learn from the process because it is necessary for your marriage.

BY: PASTOR REINDORF MANTEY

(GENERAL OVERSEER)

CRUSADERS MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL
- www.crusaders.biz

PS: If you have any questions concerning this article or any other questions on singles, kindly post them at the comment or send them via email @ lilly@crusaders.biz

How To Be Single And 'Satisfied'!

First of all, I want you to know that marriage is good and the most honorable! If God wants you to marry, don't give excuses or hide behind other facets, like this article; you MUST marry at the right time! There are many wonderful things for you in marriage - not just any marriage but the one designed & confirmed by God for you!

But that doesn't also mean you are done with if you are single! Let's see....

SATISFY - to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); give full contentment to

SATISFIED - content 

It is interesting how many think their life has no meaning or that they are unfulfilled without a partner. Women especially have this negative stigma. Mainly, this is because we have some wrong definitions of what marriage must be. Many of us desperately run into marriage because we are not satisfied as singles. We enter into the marriage with this wrong perception of what we are in for and what we must be doing in it. Yet, even to have a great marriage, one of the important factors is to be complete and satisfied as a single person before we enter in.

Many singles are faced with the challenge of societal stigma of dishonor, loneliness, incompleteness, unhappiness and non-productivity which they believe can be dealt with only with the presence of a partner. But the truth is, you don’t need a man (as in either a man or woman) to be complete, dignified and honored, fulfilled, happy, fruitful or satisfied.

So, the question is, how do you become satisfied as a single person?

In the account of the birth of Jesus in Luke, Mary conceived and gave birth to a son without the natural intercourse of a man. The Holy Spirit overshadowed her and made which needed man’s ability baseless! It can be deduced Mary’s main purpose on earth was to give birth to the Messiah. Seeing such purpose coming to pass, she could be said to have been fulfilled. Yet, she didn’t need a man to be fulfilled. But for such supernatural tendency to come true, Mary had to surrender to the will of God. She had to yield to the purpose of God for her life.

“And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” – Luke 1:38

If single people would submit to God and His will and embrace His purpose for their lives and live in it, then His Spirit shall overshadow them to do all they want to do to have a fulfilled life. Because you are carrying a divine mandate in your womb like Mary, God’s protection will be with you; no 'Herod' can succeed in killing that divine mandate which contains your prosperity, happiness, glory, dignity and fulfillment. You’ll surely birth out at the appointed time and everyone will see and call you blessed.

Many singles are concerned of the status quo and are disturbed with the societal stigma of singleness. They embrace the societal fib that if you are not married, especially as a woman (and yes many men have this stigma too), you don’t have dignity, you don’t belong. Yet, it is not man (a husband or wife) but God who gives honor and dignity.

Mary was honored and dignified amongst other women because she carried a divine mandate. She was highly favored (Luke 1:28). Although she was betrothed to Joseph, she didn’t need to be married before she had such honor and favor. In fact, her situation demanded disgrace and disrepute in the natural sense, for she had taken seed before marriage. Yet, with such humanly disgraceful circumstance, she was honored, favored and dignified and called blessed just because she was on the Lord’s side and He was with her!

True dignity, honor and respect come from God and not man (Ps 104:1). It comes from obedience to God’s Word; fear of and love for God (Ps 15:4; 91:14-15; Prov 22:4). As Psalm 91:14-15 says, much as you set your love upon God by doing His will, He shall honor you.

Again, many single women especially think they need a man to take care of them financially and materially (and yes you wouldn't believe some men have this intent too). No. You are a rich person yourself who can take care of yourself. In your God-given mandate are talents to fulfill such mandate. God has endowed you with such special talents in which are millions and billions of whichever currency you could think of; in which is an extraordinary fiscal value only if you’ll use it!

Yes there are some people God has said their financial and other prosperity will manifest after marriage, but if God is truly the One who has said it, He knows how to take good care of you that you don’t necessarily need a man to supply you with. But some of us, we claim this widely accepted fib to ourselves; that God made the man to support and provide for the wife therefore we will be much better off financially/materially after we marry. If only you’ll embrace the purpose of God for your life, obey Him and keep His Word, love Him and be more intimate with Him, He shall prosper you! (Deut 29:9; Josh 1:7-8; Job 36:11)

Some singles feel incomplete without a partner. Let me tell you that you are a complete person yourself! Actually you must be complete before you marry. Being single is the best moment to be transformed in every area of your life in order to be the best husband or wife! God molded Eve and put her together before He brought her to Adam as his wife. She was made complete as a wife before she married. God endowed her with all she needs to be a help meet to Adam. She was with God and walked with God and God molded her. God cannot mold you for you to lack anything good. It is said God brought Eve to Adam meaning she was walking with God till she got to Adam and married. Walk with God for Him to mold you and complete you as a single person even before you marry. You don’t need a man first to be complete. You need God to complete you.

Perhaps some of us are unsatisfied as singles because we think we need someone to make us happy, to comfort us, and fill our loneliness. You need God and not man (wife or husband) to satisfy you in these areas. We’ve embraced the worldly fib of only being happy by the nearness of a man and have neglected the intimacy with God that is why we are frustrated, unhappy and feel lonely.

Do you know you can be married and yet be lonely and therefore unhappy? You can also be single and be happy and not feel lonely. True joy comes from God.

You do not marry to get rid of your loneliness but your aloneness. There is a difference between the two. God didn’t say it isn’t good for a man to be ‘lonely’ He said it isn’t good for a man to be ‘alone’. He didn’t create marriage to satisfy your loneliness but aloneness. Loneliness is only you inwardly; aloneness means only you outwardly. Loneliness is normally what produces sadness and stress. Adam was alone without Eve but not lonely for he had God with and in him! We can deduce he was happy and satisfied for he wasn’t the one who requested for a wife. You need God to satisfy your loneliness and not man! Be intimate with Him and experience true companionship!

What is making you unsatisfied in your single life? Is it that your biological clock is ticking and so you need a man? You are only under the oppression and pressure of societal stigma of dishonor. But if only you will throw away the worldly ideologies and yield yourself to God in serving Him and living righteously for Him, He’ll give you such dignity and honor in the eyes of others that even some married people might not have. Or are you scared you’ll enter into menopause and not be able to give birth? Remember Sarah! So long as you live for God, He’ll do with you like Sarah. Or are you feeling lonely and unhappy? Spend more time with God, be intimate with Him and that loneliness will vanish...!

Be happy in your single life! Rather than being passive and sorrowing in your singleness, see this moment as a blessing! Stop flirting around with other men or women that depreciates your honor. 'Flirt' rather with God! Chase God and appreciate your value & dignity! Get up and do what you are supposed to do! Use this moment to be more intimate with God! Remember what Paul said in ICorinthians 7:32-35..relatively, the best moment to serve the Lord without distraction is when you are single (note that it doesn't mean you can't serve the Lord properly when married). Check the areas of your life where you need to work on that will affect your marriage (your emotions, physical appearance, speech, words) & allow yourself to be transformed, equipped & enriched in every area by the help of God; know how to take care of yourself physically, secure yourself some honorable profession. Discover your God-given purpose and get busy with the use of your talents and gifts in accordance with that purpose. Be independent of a man but dependent on God! Let your single life be useful, then you will be satisfied you are (or were, after you marry)!